Narcissists Reaction When You Stop Chasing Them
1. The Power Struggle: Devaluation Tactics
If you stop chasing a narcissist to feel powerful and in charge, they might treat you less highly. When they think their power over you is waning, they may use devaluation tactics to show that they are still in charge and that they think they are better than you.
2. Vulnerability and Manipulation
Your self-esteem drops when someone devalues you, which makes you more vulnerable to manipulation and more likely to keep looking for their approval.
3. The Break: Seeking Self-Improvement
You might decide to take a break from your relationship to work on yourself for a while, but the narcissist doesn’t like this. After all of a sudden not getting any attention, they feel hurt and want to be validated more than ever.
4. Love Bombing: The Unexpected Reaction
“How do narcissists act when you stop chasing them?” Most likely, you didn’t think about love bombing, but it does happen more often than you think. Narcissists always want to be in charge, which is exactly where you put them when you started to chase them.
5. The Love Bombing Cycle
If you try to take away their power, they’ll use love bombing to get back into your heart and take back control. It’s their way of trying to get and keep your attention by giving you lots of gifts, compliments, and love.
6. The Push-Pull Relationship
Once a narcissist has hooked you with love bombing, they often go back to controlling, manipulating, and taking advantage of your emotions. This is where the cycle of valuing more, letting go of more, and idealizing again comes in.
7. The Thrill of Being Chased
The narcissist’s ability to go back and forth between showing you affection and ignoring you keeps you chasing them and puts them in charge. Sometimes the thrill of being chased is so strong that you start chasing someone else as soon as the other person stops.
8. Narcissistic Insecurity
The main reason a narcissist reacts badly when they stop chasing is because they are deeply insecure and are afraid of being left without the approval that keeps their sense of self-worth up.
9. Narcissistic Rage: A Violent Reaction
Stopping the chase and pulling away from them hurts their sense of self-worth, which is a deep narcissistic injury. The narcissist has no control over this or the pain it causes them, which could make them angry.
10. Handling Explosive Reactions
If you stop chasing after the narcissist, they may send you a lot of messages, show up out of the blue, stalk you, or use emotional blackmail to get you back into their orbit. Know that these explosive reactions are caused by a weak sense of self-worth being pushed to its limits, and stay firm in your boundaries.
11. The Role of Flying Monkeys
To get you to join the chase again, the narcissist has to find new ways to do it, and flying monkeys are one of them. Anyone that the narcissist controls and can get to do what they want is a flying monkey.
12. Manipulation Through Flying Monkeys
In this case, flying monkeys help the narcissist in more than one way. It makes them more powerful in your life even though you’re not directly involved, makes you confused and upset, and helps the narcissist keep up the appearance of being innocent or a victim, putting the blame on you.
13. Resisting Influence and Disengaging
A narcissistic ex-partner might try to get your mutual friends to get in touch with them, saying they’re worried about their well-being and that you should think again about your decision to stop talking to them.
They may utilize manipulative language such as “You are causing them significant emotional pain” or “They are experiencing severe distress in your absence.”
This planned trick is meant to make you feel responsible and guilty again, which will draw you back into the chase. This planned trick is meant to make you feel responsible and guilty again, which will draw you back into the chase.
In this complicated dance, it’s important to remember that these flying monkeys are often caught in the narcissist’s web of manipulation without meaning to be. Being aware of their role can help you resist their influence and stick to your decision to disengage.
Here are some tips for dealing with a narcissist:
Set Boundaries: Clearly define and enforce boundaries. Be firm about what behavior is acceptable and what is not.
Limit Contact: If possible, reduce contact with the narcissist. This can help minimize their negative impact on your well-being.
Focus on Self-Care: Take care of your emotional and mental well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
Build a Support System: Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who understand the challenges you’re facing. Share your experiences with those you trust.
Don’t Engage in Power Struggles: Narcissists thrive on power struggles. Avoid getting into arguments or trying to prove yourself right. It often leads to more frustration.
Educate Yourself: Understanding narcissistic behavior can help you cope better. Knowing what to expect allows you to navigate the relationship more effectively.
Seek Professional Help: If the relationship is significantly impacting your mental health, consider seeking therapy. A therapist can provide guidance and support.
Maintain Realistic Expectations: Recognize that you may not be able to change the narcissist’s behavior. Adjust your expectations to protect yourself from disappointment.
Stay Calm and Collected: Narcissists may try to provoke emotional reactions. Stay calm and composed, and don’t let their behavior dictate your emotional state.
Plan Your Exit Strategically: If the relationship is toxic and damaging, consider planning an exit strategy. This might involve ending the relationship or minimizing your involvement.
Remember, each situation is unique, and these tips may need to be adapted based on your specific circumstances. If you find it challenging to cope, seeking professional advice is always a wise choice.
In summary, when you stop chasing a narcissist, things get complicated. They might devalue you or try to win you back with excessive affection. The back-and-forth can be draining. Understanding that their reactions come from deep insecurities is key. Stand your ground, ignore manipulative tactics, and break free from the cycle. This way, you protect yourself and open the door to healthier relationships ahead.